DCC Episode 3: Jenn Leyva “Too much is never enough”

dresscodecracker:

DCC Episode 3: Jenn Leyva “Too much is never enough”

Jenn is a queer anti-assimilationist anarcho-feminist! She spoke to DCC via skype from her home in South Korea where she is teaching at a for profit school.

fat, smart and pretty

Read all about it here: http://fatsmartandpretty.com/

she did say 'red lipstick until i die'.....

she did say ‘red lipstick until i die’…..

We talked about the HRC, feminism, clothes as comfort and armour, cultural differences in South Korea (and her aversion to…

View On WordPress

Oh look! It’s me!

Justice, which entails acknowledgment, recognition, and loving attention, is not a state that can be achieved once and for all. There are no solutions; there is only the ongoing practice of being open and alive to each meeting, each intra-action, so that we might use our ability to respond, our responsibility, to help awaken, to breathe life into every new possibilities for living justly.
Fat Queer Online Writing Group

I have a proposal of sorts: let’s make ourselves a fat, queer online writing group. 

You may have noticed a bit of a lack on this space, from me in general. In part, I’m trying to take an intentional step back from the internets and focus on other things. But a large part of it is, I think, a fear of writing and creating. I have been trying to write a few things for a while, and I can’t seem to make them happen. I stare at my computer willing it to free me from a task I know it can’t; I write the beginnings of something on Facebook or in a journal and decide to scrap it because it’s hard. I want more practice, and I want people who see me to hold me accountable and push me to write more and write better.

It’s not just about my writing; it’s about our community voices. We have important things to say, things that need to be heard. I want our voices to be as powerful, beautiful, resilient, delicate, layered, and full as they can be. I want for us to write so that we can make ourselves whole. 

Here’s my vision:

  • A 6 week writing workshop starting the first week in February (I’m open and interested in more, but I think this is a good starting chunk of time. It’s enough time to actually work on a piece or three and not so much time that we’ll burn out or forget about it by the end.)
  • We “meet” once a week, and we alternate submitting either original work or critiques to the works presented. I will arrange some round-robin type system so the same people don’t always respond to each other. “Meetings” will consist of a weekly deadline to submit either texts or feedback on dreamwidth.org. 
  • All genres and styles of writing are welcome. Texts need not be directly related to fatness / queerness, though the content of text should exist within the NOLOSE community agreements

If this sounds like something you are interested in, please email me (jenn @ fatsmartandpretty.com) by January 25th. We’ll exchange a few emails to make sure it’ll be a good fit for this group, and then we can start the first week of February. 

Selfish Women
This is part of a blog project where I’m asking women about being selfish. Interested in participating? Email me at jenn @ fatsmartandpretty.com.
Today we have Kristi M, a 30 year old American English teacher in South Korea.
1. What’s the last thing you did exclusively for yourself? 
The last thing that I did exclusively for myself was download and read a new book. It’s a cheesy romance novel/guilty pleasure type deal, but it was completely for me and I’m thoroughly engrossed in it. I stayed up until nearly 3 AM reading when I should have been asleep early since I had work this morning, but sometimes you just have to do something for yourself.
2. If you had an hour and $20 to spend on yourself, what would you do? 
I would buy the new yarn that I want and get a Christmas Cookie Latte from Starbucks and just sip and knit.
3. What do you think of the word “selfish”? 
I think that the word selfish has a negative connotation in our society today. Sometimes thinking of yourself is a good thing, as long as it is not hurting anyone else (or yourself). This is not being selfish, although lots of people get accused of being selfish for doing it. Solely thinking of yourself to the detriment of others is being selfish.
I recently started a new job teaching kindergarten in Korea. I was replacing a 43 year old, white, American, male. I’m a 30 year old, white, American, female. We both assumed that we were pretty much on the same page. Merely the commonality of being strangers in a strange land had has afforded me the opportunity to make lots of new friends. He kept complimenting me, saying that I was “just so good with kids” and asked when I would have some of my own. I politely informed him that I love kids, and I love teaching, but I don’t have any intentions of having my own kids. You would have thought that I had punched him in the face; he was so offended my statement. He accused me of being “selfish” for not having kids. It felt like he was using “selfish” as a derogatory word. I was floored. I didn’t have a clue what to say back, so I asked him why he felt that way. He told me that the only reason that I think I don’t want to have kids is because I think that I can’t find a good man and gave me the “plenty of fish in sea” speech. His assumptions made my patience start to run a little thin. I kindly explained that, I guess he’s right, I am being selfish for not having kids, but not for the reasons that he assumes. I like my life the way that it is. A baby changes everything. If I had kids, they would be the top priority in my life and I would make sacrifices to give them every advantage that I could. Having said that, I don’t have kids, and I don’t have any intentions of having kids. I’m taking every precaution to insure that I don’t have kids, and that is a choice that I get to make. I’m in a committed relationship. I like coming home to someone that I love dearly and that loves me. I like being able to stay up late reading, if that’s what I want to do. I like being able to eat desert first. I love to travel. I have a personal goal of making it to every continent. I don’t think it would be right or safe to force a child to accompany me on that journey. I enjoy extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping. I feel like it would be careless and irresponsible to risk my life like that if I had a child that was depending upon me. The mommy path is not the path that I choose to be on. My path has changed a lot in the last 30 years, I never expected to find myself in Korea. Maybe one day, that path will change, but right now, this is my choice. I feel absurdly lucky that I have the capability to decide how I want to live my life and actually do it. It is possible for me to carve out the lifestyle that I want to have for myself. I dislike the term selfish. Doing what I think is best for me, when it doesn’t hurt anyone else, is not being selfish. One man’s selfish is another woman’s self-awareness.

Selfish Women

This is part of a blog project where I’m asking women about being selfish. Interested in participating? Email me at jenn @ fatsmartandpretty.com.

Today we have Kristi M, a 30 year old American English teacher in South Korea.

1. What’s the last thing you did exclusively for yourself?

The last thing that I did exclusively for myself was download and read a new book. It’s a cheesy romance novel/guilty pleasure type deal, but it was completely for me and I’m thoroughly engrossed in it. I stayed up until nearly 3 AM reading when I should have been asleep early since I had work this morning, but sometimes you just have to do something for yourself.

2. If you had an hour and $20 to spend on yourself, what would you do?

I would buy the new yarn that I want and get a Christmas Cookie Latte from Starbucks and just sip and knit.

3. What do you think of the word “selfish”?

I think that the word selfish has a negative connotation in our society today. Sometimes thinking of yourself is a good thing, as long as it is not hurting anyone else (or yourself). This is not being selfish, although lots of people get accused of being selfish for doing it. Solely thinking of yourself to the detriment of others is being selfish.

I recently started a new job teaching kindergarten in Korea. I was replacing a 43 year old, white, American, male. I’m a 30 year old, white, American, female. We both assumed that we were pretty much on the same page. Merely the commonality of being strangers in a strange land had has afforded me the opportunity to make lots of new friends. He kept complimenting me, saying that I was “just so good with kids” and asked when I would have some of my own. I politely informed him that I love kids, and I love teaching, but I don’t have any intentions of having my own kids. You would have thought that I had punched him in the face; he was so offended my statement. He accused me of being “selfish” for not having kids. It felt like he was using “selfish” as a derogatory word. I was floored. I didn’t have a clue what to say back, so I asked him why he felt that way. He told me that the only reason that I think I don’t want to have kids is because I think that I can’t find a good man and gave me the “plenty of fish in sea” speech. His assumptions made my patience start to run a little thin. I kindly explained that, I guess he’s right, I am being selfish for not having kids, but not for the reasons that he assumes. I like my life the way that it is. A baby changes everything. If I had kids, they would be the top priority in my life and I would make sacrifices to give them every advantage that I could. Having said that, I don’t have kids, and I don’t have any intentions of having kids. I’m taking every precaution to insure that I don’t have kids, and that is a choice that I get to make. I’m in a committed relationship. I like coming home to someone that I love dearly and that loves me. I like being able to stay up late reading, if that’s what I want to do. I like being able to eat desert first. I love to travel. I have a personal goal of making it to every continent. I don’t think it would be right or safe to force a child to accompany me on that journey. I enjoy extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping. I feel like it would be careless and irresponsible to risk my life like that if I had a child that was depending upon me. The mommy path is not the path that I choose to be on. My path has changed a lot in the last 30 years, I never expected to find myself in Korea. Maybe one day, that path will change, but right now, this is my choice. I feel absurdly lucky that I have the capability to decide how I want to live my life and actually do it. It is possible for me to carve out the lifestyle that I want to have for myself. I dislike the term selfish. Doing what I think is best for me, when it doesn’t hurt anyone else, is not being selfish. One man’s selfish is another woman’s self-awareness.

Thankful

Thankful