I deserve to exist.
My body is valid.
I think it to myself or say it quietly under my breath like a prayer.
I say it sharply coupled with a “fuck you” at strangers snickering at me on the bus or on the Internet.
On really difficult days when I think my body is a worthless sack of shit (there are those days; there are rough days in any relationship), I force myself to admit that I’m worthy.
I stand in front of the mirror and look at my body and say it aloud until I believe it.
Guess what I’m doing on Saturday? Yup, I’ll be talking about fat bodies and desire at Harvard Sex Week! And I’ll probably spin at least once. You know you want that.
"Unruly Appetites: Examining Fat Bodies and Desire" brought to you by Harvard Sex Week.
Fat chicks are: A) good at giving head, always desperate and looking to please men. B) dykes, because no man would ever fuck her. C) hot, but only when I’m drunk and don’t tell my friends. Want to make sense of personal and cultural desire (or lack there of) for fat and other non-normative bodies? In this session Jenn Leyva, a fat activist, will interrogate desire of by unpacking the historical and social meanings of fat bodies. The second half of the session will be a workshop aimed at dismantling the hierarchies of desire and attraction.
Saturday October 27 in the Ticknor Lounge at 3:30. The facebook event is here (that’s how you know it’s real).
Virgie Tovar’s Guide to Fat Girl Living: Internalized Fatphobia
This is real and important. And really important.
My Latest at Role/Reboot, “Fat Hate Is Not The Same As Homophobia”
My fatness and my queerness can not be separated.
Let me explain. My fat female body is queered by my fatness. It’s both hyper feminized and completely defeminized. I have big boobs and short of a turtleneck, there is going to be cleavage. And I’ve got a substantial ass. I also have a belly and rolls and stretch marks and a double chin when I laugh. The “acceptable” fat parts of my body are the ones that feminize and sexualize me. The “unacceptable” fat parts are ones that defeminize and render me gross and revolting. My fatness also complicates my sexuality. If I walk into a straight bar, I’m more likely to be hit on as a joke than as an actual advance. My body makes me revolting and unworthy of a sexuality. And at the same time I’m a big fat slut. Any fat chick is rendered “easy” because she’s so ugly and disgusting that she’s always craving sexual attention. And a fat chick is also a lesbian because she’s so fat and ugly that no guy would want to be with her, so she’s left with women as partners. Never mind the fact that she could just be attracted to women. It’s a complicated set of paradoxes, and this is the Cliff’s Notes version.
Read the rest here!